Journeys and Returns

Working for the United Nations in Southeast Asia was a great experience I am glad to have completed. Now home, sitting at the "Dog Tooth Cafe" in Colorado Springs, I can't help but feel this overwhelming sense of appreciation, gratitude, and unbelievable exhaustion. And really there is nothing more challenging than living in Asia except returning to the crazy splendor of America. Yes. I am feeling the culture shock... so why not just kill my sense of anything in reality and go see the movie Sicko...?...this jouney and return is and has been a beautiful confusion, un belle confuze.

Japan is beautiful! But I'm Coming Home!

Dear Friends and Family:

Right now I am siting outside the United Airlines Executive Lounge in Tokyo, snatching a bit of the wireless internet vibe wafting through their stately and elegant entrance. Unable to afford official recognition as one of the executive loungers...my piece of carpet in the hallway will have to do. There are a few of us backpacking interloper types camped along this corridor of transition; all of us just hoping to get a little "connection."

Here, now, and completely absorbed in this space I have this unfathomable feeling of excitement: I AM COMING HOME! Today, July 4th, will literally be the longest day of my life as I come home across the international date line, but hopefully I'll be home in time for fireworks, hugs from family, and Rachel.

From my line of sight here on the carpet, countless travelers make their way from left to right or right to left... and with them the worlds variety of shoes, styles, and ethnicities come piter-pattering along... languages colliding, melding and endlessly mixing with the sounds of any airport.

Occasionally a child in hand with mom or dad looks curiously and directly at me, as if to ask with his or her expression, "what are you doing? and why are you sitting on the floor of an airport in Japan?" I laugh. The parents seldom catch my eye from their walking height, and only from the questioning look of a child does this question finally meet an answer: Love! I am coming home with and for love! Boarding time announcements continue to echo through the halls: We are now boarding flight UA 855 to; "Los Angeles," "Seattle," and "Bangkok." I smile and laugh a little more. There is only one place I want to be!

Honor your moments. Life might be a short, fleeting opportunity, lost or luckily grasped. Life might also be a single moment of past-present-future, with the developed experience of both the most wise and most kind. In this later conception, grace flows... and in this art of grace I am still practicing.

Much love to you! Hopefully I'll see you soon!

Staying, Leaving, and Becoming

Learning to stay; Learning to leave

If I could make it around the corner,
If I could just get past that traffic light,
If I could weave my way through that crowd,
If I could hold my breath past the puddle,
If I could make the journey home,
Then a perfect love is continued, full, and alive.
Then we are complete, together-ly apart, and happy.

And If learning to stay and learning to leave,
has root in this moment-presence, then here I am. Ready.
Ready for the next step towards this staying and leaving.

BUT if life is simply learning how to stay and how to leave:
........................every moment of every day......
Staying and Leaving that emotion of delight or regret,
........................that flash of discovery or awe,
........................or that person you hold most dear.

THEN, I will chose instead to become;
never staying and never leaving.
Ever-here; and always

Becoming,
-- Elliott

United Nations: an update on the internship

For the past weeks I have been working for the United Nations as an intern to support the develop a 3-day workshop focused on Avian Human Influenza (AHI). The UN's role in the systemic prepraredness of Asian and Pacific nations serves both in advance and in the event of a pandemic. My role is primarily administrative in the development of materials and functional execution of the workshop, but has given me the opportunity to see the UN from the inside. I am located at the UN building for East Asia and the Pacific Region (UNESCAP). It is an incredibly huge complex of different buildings and government offices. UNESCAP was "established in Shanghai, China in 1947 and has 62 members; has the longest track record of any institution in identifying and analyzing economic and social trends in Asia and the Pacific; established the Asian Development Bank (1966), Mekong River Commission (1995) and Asia-Pacific Centre for Agricultural Machinery (2002); is the biggest of the UN's five regional commissions in terms of population served and area covered; advocates for greater private sector involvement in infrastructure development; assists in modernizing Asian highways and railways under the Asian Land Transport Infrastructure Development Programme; provides technical assistance to pacific island countries through its Pacific Operations Centre based in Suva, Fiji; and monitors progress of, and provides advice to, countries pursuing the UN Millennium Development Goals (MDG's)." (Background sheet on UNESCAP)

A short briefing I recieved on Avian Human Influenza:

"Since 2003, a devastating epidemic of avian-or bird-influenza caused by the highly pathogenic H5N1 virus, has predominately affected poultry flocks in East Asia-particularly in Vietnam, Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Indonesia and China. It has now spread throughout the world and has already had severe consequences on the economies of affected countries and on poor farmers' livelihoods.

This avian influenza virus has already infected 313 people (killing 191 or 61% of those infected) but so far, has not yet developed the ability to transmit easily from person to person. In many respects, however, conditions are ripe for a pandemic of human influenza.

The UN System created the office of the UN System Influenza Coordination (UNSIC) within the UN Development Group to help ensure that the UN system responds to national, regional and global challenges in relation to influenza. The primary purpose of this office is to ensure cooperation and coordination between the UN and support for the range of different initiatives underway now to address the avian flu epidemic and the threat of a human pandemic."

I have learned a ton these past few weeks, mostly for questions related to "how" and process. I am pleased to get that level of awareness and perhaps am starting to learn the difference between tasks as forms of content and management as forms of process. There are still so many other levels I wish I had time to learn. "How" still and will never reach "why." and its kindof frustrating in a good way... it makes me feel like there is a lot more I can learn!

Complacently Highly Competitive

Thailand is a wonderful wonderful place, but is now in the throws of defining its future while at the same time trying to cope with its past. The result is a failed nation state with an ambivalent global presence with conflicting priorities, and as a result, a forgotten historical precedent of sustainability. Now here in the great city of Bangkok, I look around into a sea of complacent competitors. With the governmental leadership in question, there are fewer who believe next year will be better than last year (according to a recent poll), rightfully more skepticism of prevailing culture of corruption, and considerably fewer tourists than in past years (exhibiting the international communities lull in confidence for the security of travel in Thailand). With so much change the people are powerless and complacent, yet remain competitive in the quest for the bottom line.

My friend Mike Saltz, a teacher at an international school in Bangkok, thinks that recent political movements exhibit this trend. Recently the ruling party that was overthrown by the military coup of September 19 was removed and destroyed by the new Constitutional Court. This group, called the Thai Rak Thai (or TRT), banned from 2001 to 2005 has again been curbed for activity in the public forum. (TRT is the group that has been urging Thaksin to step down. Its interesting because the TRT is supported by most of the southern and rural pars of Thailand - including other surrounding countries). Its good news that the Democratic Party was allowed to continue into the future, yet it is unfortunate that they have foced this party to be the ONLY major contender in the upcoming elections (now scheduled for December). With no competitors for a democratic election, the military gets to have its cake and eat it too! Mike noted that the Democratic Party developed years ago as a result of the scaling-up of military power, so it is both good and contentious that they have been allowed to be in power.

The end is a big question mark for Thailand... nobody knows what is going to happen. I am actually in support of the fact that the ballots for Thailand include a "none of the above" clause (I think its empowering for people to say outright that the candidates are not acceptable by virtue of the process preceeding their granted ability to run for office). The problem is that many provinces might not send representation to Bangkok. It happened last year and might happen again. As a traveler on the eve of my return to the states, I can say that the international media has portrayed the situation more dire than it is actually. Regardless, we have our own election problems at home...democracy is a challenging but necessary element in our common quest to live harmoniously on national, international, and global levels. The biggest challenge remains transparency and corruption in this process and only a systematic approach to these and other problems will yield fair, legal democratic elections. The people of Thailand continue to chart this historic era of change complacently, yet with a highly competitive attitude for their own stake in the outcome.

KI KI SO SO! LYARGALO!!!!

A wise man told me in Ladakh (he happens to be one of you actually) that "life is not a lesson to be learned, but a mystery to be lived." When I clicked the purchase button for this last trip to Ladakh my goals were simple and concrete, but have become a bit complicated and manifold. Yet I think the goals then remained somehow beneath or within that complexity. I wanted to reconnect with the Siddhartha School and its kids. I wanted to see and experience sustained field work in public health for children. I wanted to gain some skills. I wanted some magic to happen...

Four years ago I journeyed to teach for the Siddhartha School in Choskor, Stok where I had experienced some of that crazy magic. The school is doing well, now with exactly 200 students and a much more developed classroom structure, science lab just finished, and a new library area without books. I have adopted a kid and have been thinking about and working on some means of getting more books up here. A woman named Tamara Blesh has been instrumental in raising funds and making possible what was only a dream for everyone at the school. I admire her intentions and work and very much enjoyed working with her on the beginning of her incredible work for the school.

The dZi Foundation medical clinics were also tremendous. The first four days were spent at the Ladakh Public Schools doing visual check-ups with more than 700 children. About 30 of these children were prescribed and provided custom glasses with specialized dimensions for their sight needs. About 40 pairs of glasses were dispensed. The dental clinics Rachel and I worked in Nubra Valley were equally incredible. The two dentists who came saw more than 300 children! Rachel and I were the dental assistants for the doctors. We helped with dozens of fillings and extractions; almost all of the children had some need, some with significant surgeries necessary. It was an entirely unique and special experience for both of us... surpassing all of our expectations.

My life these past months has surpassed those expectations in ways that aren't so concrete or predictable. One surprise was Rachel's decision to come join me in Ladakh. I decided recently that I would not stay for the MPH program in Bangkok. Ultimately I also decided that I didn't want to be without Rachel in my life.

One evening on a few of our days off I took Rachel to my favorite Ladakhi village, Alchi. I gathered some flowers after a hike into the canyon and while sitting down to a romantic little dinner together, asked her to marry me. She said yes. I gave her the ring I had been carrying around with me. There is no rush to things like this, but then, is there ever a perfect time? I love her. Yes we have our different ways, but we are more similar than different, and what is more, we are right for each other. In Ladakhi, "Nga Nericka Chespa Chot" (I love her)... in Italian, as she taught me, "Ti voglio bene" (I wish her well).

I have returned to Bangkok to take up an internship with the United Nations working on Influenza preparedness. I am coming home on the 4th of July. I remember a few moments during this last trip in Ladakh when the winds of the Karakoram came swirling down from the more northern Himalaya. The trees sounded like rain when the wind tickles through the village hamlets and gompas; now as I type this note I remember that breeze...the curtains of my room make similar but more silent movements, and as I write these words, and breathe from the memory, a feeling of peace and presence overwhelms me…om

Love in Ladakh...