Dusit Park, Northern Bangkok
April 1, 2007
For me a few things initiate the feeling to write. Right now it is the slowness of eating rice with chop-sticks, three grains (or a small clump at a time). Its my birthday today. Twenty-five years ago my mom brought me into this world, and as sit now with my plate of rice at a quiet park in the middle of 12 million people, I became impatient with my rice. I want to be done with the rice and onto other things. I had a thought of frustration at its endlessness, like life these days, and with distraction I reach for the pen and paper. Sometimes I do this. I take refuge intermittently with small things on the side, jumping from one thing to the next and causing all sorts of distractions for myself. But I like this refuge! You can't grab rice with chop-sticks!, just like you can't grab life or any of its "experiences." Instead you must be gentle and patient, able to sit awhile with the thing of life and let it be... even if it be frustrating. You must be gentle enough, I mean, to lift from beneath for some better foundation under the thing, and slowly, ever-so gently, lift (with intentful, yet impartial eyes), and smile.
Smiling makes it easier to eat rice with chop-sticks. In fact, rice wants to clump and join with the bamboo transporters. Life and its bamboo transporters are the same... it takes patience and diligence and seeking attainment without a grasping for attainment. You cannot aim at a target; you may simply ascend upon it (Hesse, Siddhartha). For in committment to the false single target, full committment, you will surely miss ... because you miss the whole. And the paradox is that there is nothing to attain. What is attained isn't the thing, its the usefulness found in the empty space.
"Many spokes unite to form the wheel
but it is the center hole that makes it useful.
When you shape the urn
it is the space within that makes it useful.
From the material, profit.
From the immaterial, usefulness."
- Lau Tzu
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Besides, who eats every last grain of rice anyway? Okay I admit it. Today, sitting by the river with my journal and a book, I ate every single grain of rice happily with this goofy smile on my face...
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